Politics & Other Mistakes

By Al Diamon | Aug 14, 2009

Share

Al Diamon

Recent Posts by Al Diamon

• OPINION: Politics & Other Mistakes

  Magic power

  By Al Diamon - Feb 03
  A few months after the Berlin Wall came down in 1989, my wife and I were wandering around the eastern part of that city and came upon a little ...
  
• OPINION: Politics & Other Mistakes

  Don’t let them take control

  By Al Diamon - Jan 27
  There are worse things than Maine’s antiquated system of county government. Cancer. Meth addicts. Newt Gingrich. And that’s about it. On the plus ...
  
• OPINION: Politics & Other Mistakes

  Dead man walking

  By Al Diamon - Jan 21
  It should have been a somber moment, but the awful shouting intruded on the funeral service. The small crowd of mourners shuffled uneasily around ...
  

• It might never happen

  By Al Diamon - Jan 13
  The Very Smart People have proclaimed the Democratic Party is about to reclaim control of the Maine House of Representatives. This November, ...
  

• Bad as me

  By Al Diamon - Jan 07
  I’m an economist in much the same sense that I’m commissioner of the National Football League. Only with fewer qualifications. I actually know a ...
  
• OPINION: Politics & Other Mistakes

  What were you hoping for?

  By Al Diamon - Dec 31
  In his first year as governor, Republican Paul LePage did a decent job. Why did you suddenly roll up in a fetal position on the floor? Why are ...
  
• OPINION: Politics & Other Mistakes

  Indestructible machine

  By Al Diamon - Dec 23
  The weird thing about the Maine Department of Health and Human Services is not that it wastes enormous amounts of taxpayer money. It’s that it ...
  

• Having a ball

  By Al Diamon - Dec 16
  For my birthday, a friend bought me a baseball cap with the letters “TR” on the front. That stands for Templeton Rye, my favorite whiskey. But the ...
  
• OPINION: Politics & Other Mistakes

  Long term plan

  By Al Diamon - Dec 09
  Since you’re reading this column, I assume you’re a person well-versed in the important matters facing this state, or else you’re insanely bored ...
  
• OPINION: Politics & Other Mistakes

  Three the hard way

  By Al Diamon - Dec 02
  The current field of Democratic gubernatorial candidates consists of one who’s already run unsuccessfully, one who’s a member of the 1 percent of ...
  
• OPINION: Politics & Other Mistakes

  Doesn’t add up

  By Al Diamon - Nov 25
  Ranked-choice voting “would ensure not only that the most popular candidate wins an election, but also that he or she wins by a clear majority of ...
  
• OPINION: Politics & Other Mistakes

  Twenty years on

  By Al Diamon - Nov 18
  There are topics that are even more boring than a columnist writing about how long he’s been a columnist. For instance, a documentary featuring ...
  
• OPINION: Politics & Other Mistakes

  The wrong words

  By Al Diamon - Nov 11
  In the past month, a political action committee called Putting Maine To Work has sent me so many brochures that I no longer need to worry about ...
  
• OPINION: Politics & Other Mistakes

  Man with a load of mischief

  By Al Diamon - Nov 04
  According to the Maine Sunday Telegram, gambling is OK in Biddeford or Washington County, but if it happens in Lewiston, it’s pure evil. The ...
  
• OPINION: Politics and Other Mistakes

  Creature from the Black Lagoon

  By Al Diamon - Oct 28
  I don’t believe in ghosts. Or vampires. Or werewolves. Or other mythical creatures, such as Republican U.S. Senate candidate Scott D’Amboise. But...
  
• OPINION: Politics & Other Mistakes

  Tourist trap

  By Al Diamon - Oct 21
  To hear the experts talk, you’d think reducing the state budget by up to $100 million is a task only slightly less difficult than walking into a ...
  
• Politics & Other Mistakes

  Out of control

  By Al Diamon - Oct 14
  Would you want a business like this in your town? Not only does it lure patrons by offering an opportunity to gamble on games they have virtually...
  
• Politics & Other Mistakes

  Last choice

  By Al Diamon - Oct 07
  It’s an outrage that a small group of devious political insiders has been allowed to manipulate the democratic process in a blatant attempt to ...
  
• Politics & Other Mistakes

  From a distance

  By Al Diamon - Sep 30
  Moosehorn Crossing is a long way from... well... pretty much anywhere. Actually, it’s not too far from Scraggly Lake. But other than that, it’s ...
  
• Politics & Other Mistakes

  Stranger than known

  By Al Diamon - Sep 23
  In politics, things don’t have to make sense. If they did, there’d be no excuse for the tea party, Democrat Jon Hinck’s U.S. Senate campaign or ...
  
• Politics & Other Mistakes

  Liquor blues

  By Al Diamon - Sep 16
  “For great sale prices, there’s no place like Maine.” Can you guess what product that headline, which appeared in an ad in the Sept. 4 Maine ...
  
• Politics & Other Mistakes

  Drawing a line

  By Al Diamon - Sep 09
  Remain calm. You’ve probably heard that a special commission has failed to reach bipartisan agreement on a plan to redraw the boundary between ...
  
• Politics & Other Mistakes

  Don’t say the words

  By Al Diamon - Sep 02
  There are two words Kevin Raye doesn’t want to hear when he’s out on the campaign trail next year. No, not, “Buzz off, you mustard-smeared, ...
  
• Politics & Other Mistakes

  Museum dreams

  By Al Diamon - Aug 26
  This week, we’re joining a guided tour of the Maine Museum of Political Paleontology. A docent is explaining to a group of school children what’s ...
  

• A change is gonna come

  By Al Diamon - Aug 19
  Just when everything seems perfect, something always screws it up. The liquor bottle goes empty. The dog barfs on the carpet. Paul LePage ...
  

• How they hate him

  By Al Diamon - Aug 06
  Republican Governor Paul LePage has every right to be angry at Maine journalists for depicting him as a clueless buffoon with the political skills ...
  

• Dirty money

  By Al Diamon - Jul 30
  As I walked down the corridors of the Ralph Owen Brewster Hospice for Decaying Political Ideals, there were no indications of despair, pain or ...
  

• Paid to play

  By Al Diamon - Jul 23
  In a recent national survey that I totally made up, thousands of people were asked which of the following they would prefer to find between their ...
  

• Marriage madness

  By Al Diamon - Jul 16
  Around 300 B.C., the Greek dramatist Menander wrote something that, roughly translated, reads, “Marriage, to tell the truth, is an evil, but it is ...
  

• Big boss man

  By Al Diamon - Jul 09
  “Government should be run like a business.” If I had one share of Google stock for every time I’ve heard a politician or some other brainless ...
  

• Registration day blues

  By Al Diamon - Jul 02
  When it comes to politicians debating important issues, I prefer them to get down and dirty. When partisan spokespersons accuse each other of ...
  

• All that you paid for

  By Al Diamon - Jun 25
  I’ve got some deals for you. For just under $5,000 of your tax money, I can fix you up with Fred Wintle, a Republican state representative from ...
  

• Liquored up and lacquered down

  By Al Diamon - Jun 18
  It’s possible that every member of the 125th Maine Legislature is dead drunk. We can’t know for sure until all the senators and representatives ...
  

• Big man got the money

  By Al Diamon - Jun 11
  Until now, being state treasurer was like being a septic tank. Both attract attention only when something goes wrong. For instance, Democrat ...
  

• Got what it takes

  By Al Diamon - Jun 04
  If you haven’t already done so, hustle down to Portland City Hall and sign up to run for mayor. Don’t hesitate just because you have no experienc...
  

• Strange bedfellows

  By Al Diamon - May 30
  It doesn’t get weirder than this. A liberal Democrat from California wants to help conservative Republicans in Maine find somebody to run ...
  

• We are family

  By Al Diamon - May 23
  Campaigning for office is easy. It’s governing that’s hard. The Maine Republican Party is still trying to absorb this simple lesson. And some ...
  

• Coughing fits

  By Al Diamon - May 16
  Smoking isn’t one of my many vices. But that doesn’t mean I have something against those who’ve chosen that method of killing themselves. It’s not ...
  

• Going, gone

  By Al Diamon - May 09
  Republican Gov. Paul LePage should do himself, his party and his state a favor by pulling a Sarah Palin and resigning. There are plenty of ...
  

• Your credibility’s shot

  By Al Diamon - May 04
  He used his ability to appeal to a significant minority of the electorate to propel himself and his pals into the governor’s office. He appeared ...
  

• Driving in circles

  By Al Diamon - Apr 25
  I have Peter Mills’ E-Z Pass. Mills is the acting executive director of the Maine Turnpike Authority. His pass allows him to ride on the toll ...
  

• Middle of the road

  By Al Diamon - Apr 18
  Guess which of the following political entities is happiest about the way Republican Gov. Paul LePage is doing his job: a. the Tea Party, which ...
  

• I can’t recall

  By Al Diamon - Apr 11
  “I can think of no single measure that would do more to strengthen the credibility of state government than … the institution of recall.” The ...
  

• Easily distracted

  By Al Diamon - Apr 04
  Contrary to popular belief, Republican Gov. Paul LePage is not an idiot.Sure, LePage acts like one from time to time – on average, about twice a ...
  

• Down again

  By Al Diamon - Mar 28
  Here’s a great idea for commemorating the 20th anniversary of Maine’s last state-government shutdown in 1991: Let’s do it again. Planning this ...
  

• Don’t do that

  By Al Diamon - Mar 21
  Republicans and libertarians share many similarities. For instance, members of both groups are generally equipped with bladders.Of course, the ...
  

• Odd meter

  By Al Diamon - Mar 14
  It’s time for that popular feature, Practical Advice for Political Nutjobs, the column that’s been proven by complicated scientific-type testing ...
  

• The road goes on forever

  By Al Diamon - Mar 07
  If the Maine Turnpike Authority was a country, it’d be North Korea. Consider these uncanny parallels: Both the turnpike authority and the ...
  

• Flotsam and jetsam

  By Al Diamon - Feb 28
  The list of young Maine politicians with serious prospects of someday being elected to higher office is shorter than Gov. Paul LePage’s temper. O...
  

• Too soon

  By Al Diamon - Feb 21
  That’s it? That’s the budget that was supposed to transform Maine into – depending on your political orientation – either a business-friendly, ...
  

• I want fireworks

  By Al Diamon - Feb 14
  I’m a law-abiding citizen. Except when I’m not. So far, I’ve managed to avoid committing murder, rape, robbery, assault, pillaging, insider ...
  

• Out of ideas

  By Al Diamon - Feb 07
  I’m trying to help the Maine Democratic Party by coming up with a slogan for its big comeback attempt in the 2012 election. Here’s what I’ve got ...
  

• Family feud

  By Al Diamon - Jan 31
  Republican Gov. Paul LePage is a remarkably consistent guy. LePage doesn’t just do stupid things in public. He can be just as big an idiot in ...
  

• Pregnant pause

  By Al Diamon - Jan 24
  The Maine Republican Party has a death wish. Over giving birth. The GOP controls the governorship, both chambers of the Legislature, all three ...
  

• What's missing?

  By Al Diamon - Jan 17
  After an intense investigation into the backgrounds of Republican Gov. Paul LePage’s nominees for top administration posts, I’ve discovered an ...
  

• Little things

  By Al Diamon - Jan 10
  In the midst of the new Republican majority’s mania to reduce the size and cost of state government, I offer some advice and a warning.The advice: ...
  

• Sub Rosa

  By Al Diamon - Jan 03
  Rosa Scarcelli is running for the U.S. Senate in 2012. Her husband is still running away from what he did in the 2010 gubernatorial race. Scarcel...
  

• Lie to me

  By Al Diamon - Dec 27
  If Paul LePage’s wife asked him, “Do these pants make my butt look big?”, he’d probably answer, “Yeah, you look like you’ve got twin entrants in a ...
  

• I never promised you a rose garden

  By Al Diamon - Dec 20
  Some readers have suggested that last week’s column was unfair to outgoing Democratic Gov. John Baldacci. They’re correct. In a lapse of ...
  

• Walking on broken glass

  By Al Diamon - Dec 13
  There must be some kind of law that kicks in whenever a prominent politician leaves office, requiring every columnist and pundit to blather on at ...
  

• From carpenter to king

  By Al Diamon - Dec 06
  In the wake of last month’s election, I expected Republican Gov.-elect Paul LePage to provide me with an inexhaustible supply of column material. ...
  

• The stain

  By Al Diamon - Nov 29
  “If the diaper fits, you must acquit.” According to press accounts from 2003, that was the wording on a sign carried at a Statehouse rally by a ...
  

• In a perfect world

  By Al Diamon - Nov 22
  My unbiased analysis of the 2010 Maine gubernatorial election reveals that most voters didn’t want any of the candidates to win. The proof? A ...
  

• Highly experimental

  By Al Diamon - Nov 15
  Here at the Institute for Advanced Studies of the Effects of Sarcasm and Derision on Political Philosophies, we’ve been conducting a comprehensive ...
  

• Know what you're doing

  By Al Diamon - Nov 08
  Any idiot can be governor. I’m not saying Republican Governor-elect Paul LePage is such an idiot. But if it turns out he is, it’s comforting to ...
  

• Winners and fools

  By Al Diamon - Nov 01
  The Gaggie Awards are back. Not by popular demand. (But that’s never stopped state Rep. John Martin.) Not out of a misguided sense of public ...
  

• Celebrity gossip

  By Al Diamon - Oct 25
  In the final days of a tight gubernatorial race, the campaigns tend to get desperate, then frantic, then crazy. That progression leads to ...
  

• Hit the jackpot

  By Al Diamon - Oct 18
  If you’re opposed to casinos in Maine, there’s one way to make certain the state won’t be overrun with noxious gambling emporiums sucking up every ...
  

• Old and in the way

  By Al Diamon - Oct 11
  You can get in a lot of trouble if you use the words “Libby Mitchell” and “old” in the same sentence. Just ask Republican gubernatorial candidate...
  

• Look like twins

  By Al Diamon - Oct 04
  Democratic U.S. Rep. Chellie Pingree does this hilarious imitation of Republican gubernatorial candidate Paul LePage. It’s all the funnier because ...
  

• Over before it started

  By Al Diamon - Sep 27
  It’s finished. The gubernatorial candidates can cancel all remaining campaign appearances. The debate organizers can forget about renting halls ...
  

• Behaving badly

  By Al Diamon - Sep 20
  Getting a stern lecture on political decorum from the likes of me would be similar to being scolded by Hannibal Lecter for indulging in cannibalism...
  

• Cleaning house

  By Al Diamon - Sep 13
  Maine’s government contains more than 300 boards and commissions — ranging from the influential, such as the Finance Authority of Maine (FAME) and ...
  

• My new excuse

  By Al Diamon - Sep 06
  Charlie Colgan isn’t to blame for all the mistakes made by … uh … Charlie Colgan. Colgan is a former state economist (a job for which there ...
  

• Pariah dogs

  By Al Diamon - Aug 30
  I’m a dog slut. I admit that’s not an attribute I’m proud to list on my resume, but it still beats being called a “dog person.” Whenever I hear ...
  

• Addicted to distraction

  By Al Diamon - Aug 23
  I have just finished conducting extensive scientific experiments that required me to wear a white lab coat, to order my deformed assistant to dig ...
  

• Less of you

  By Al Diamon - Aug 16
  I’m against reform. I’m not against it because state government doesn’t need reform. Obviously, it does, as anybody who’s noticed the morass at ...
  

• Illegal smile

  By Al Diamon - Aug 09
  Suppose you lived in an alternative universe, and you needed toothpaste, so you could brush your alternative teeth and look hygienic. Unfortunately...
  

• Strangely familiar

  By Al Diamon - Aug 02
  The clock struck midnight on a cold, starless night in January 2011, signaling the end of Inauguration Day in Maine. Earlier, Republican Paul ...
  

• Walking on a rainbow

  By Al Diamon - Jul 26
  It’s the message most Democratic legislative candidates don’t want to find on their voice mail: “Hi, it’s Libby Mitchell. I’ll be in your area ...
  

• Badly drawn boy

  By Al Diamon - Jul 19
  I’m not saying this is a reason to vote either for or against independent gubernatorial candidate Eliot Cutler, but have you noticed how he bears ...
  

• Moody blue

  By Al Diamon - Jul 12
  Independent Shawn Moody of Gorham could become the next governor of Maine. Of course, all of the following would have to happen first: Democratic...
  

• Staring down the brilliant dream

  By Al Diamon - Jul 05
  Kevin Scott has some great ideas. What he doesn’t have is a clue. Scott is an independent candidate for governor, which could lead reasonable ...
  

• Ignorance is bliss

  By Al Diamon - Jun 28
  Maine governors do stupid things. Let’s start with the decision to run for that office, even though they have no discernible skills that might ...
  

• Image change

  By Al Diamon - Jun 21
  Good news, Dean Scontras. Former Bangor Daily News political reporter John Day thinks you can win the First Congressional District race. That ...
  

• Spookin’ the horses

  By Al Diamon - Jun 14
  Move over Freddy Krueger. Here come the real scary monsters: Libby Mitchell and Paul LePage. As the summer progresses, expect to see Democrat ...
  

• Plan B

  By Al Diamon - Jun 09
  With the end of the long primary campaign, Mainers are facing an ugly reality. No, not the winners of the Democratic and Republican gubernatorial ...
  

• Secret desires

  By Al Diamon - May 31
  Everywhere I go, people keep asking me, “Who’s going to win the election?” Often, my answer depends on my mood (which ranges from bad to horrendous...
  

• Foolish dreams

  By Al Diamon - May 24
  There’s nothing in the Maine Democratic Party’s platform about free beer. There’s free health care. Free campaign funding for candidates. ...
  

• The powerless rise

  By Al Diamon - May 17
  I’m an even-tempered guy. I don’t lose my cool more than, maybe, once or twice a day. Assuming I don’t turn on the television. Or read a ...
  

• Your words are not your own

  By Al Diamon - May 10
  Plagiarism is a serious charge. So serious that even serial miscreants such as Tiger Woods, Goldman Sachs and ex-Democratic gubernatorial candidate...
  

• Wrote a song for everyone

  By Al Diamon - May 03
  Political experts know the most important factor in a successful race for governor is the campaign song. Democrat John Baldacci wouldn’t occupy ...
  

• High ideals and crazy dreams

  By Al Diamon - Apr 26
  I have nothing against conspiracy theories. Sometimes they even turn out to be real conspiracies, like Watergate, Iran-Contra, the entire Clinton ...
  

• Fed up and low down

  By Al Diamon - Apr 19
  On one side of the issue, there’s a group called “No Higher Taxes for Maine.” On the other side, there are two organizations: “Still Fed Up With ...
  

• Gonna change directions

  By Al Diamon - Apr 12
  Jesus didn’t help Bill Beardsley. That’s not intended as a negative reflection on the Son of God, who can’t be held responsible for the deficienc...
  

• Say what you mean

  By Al Diamon - Apr 05
  I agree with Libby Mitchell. Sometimes. On other occasions, I couldn’t disagree with her more. Trouble is, I often find myself both agreeing ...
  

• Corporate love

  By Al Diamon - Mar 29
  Here’s a modest proposal for resolving the problems associated with marriage: Abolish it. Think how much simpler life would be if there were ...
  

• Kooksville

  By Al Diamon - Mar 22
  As every sane Mainer knows, the wackiest ideas for improving this state come from people in the immediate vicinity of Portland.Those weirdos want ...
  

• Tanked

  By Al Diamon - Mar 15
  The term “think tank” looks as if it signifies something impressive. But looks can be deceiving. Consider this example: A mad scientist removes ...
  

• Get smart

  By Al Diamon - Mar 08
  There are lots of theories about what’s wrong with Maine’s economy. Some people think the anemic nature of the state’s fiscal health should be ...
  

• Workin’ man blues

  By Al Diamon - Mar 01
  Election years are always times of high anxiety for politicians. That may explain why they say and do so many stupid things. Such as this ...
  

• Don’t make promises

  By Al Diamon - Feb 22
  In writing a weekly political column, you learn not to use the first paragraph to make extravagant claims you can’t possibly deliver on. Such ...
  

• Weapon of choice

  By Al Diamon - Feb 15
  As amazing as it seems in this age of 24-hour-a-day punditry, there are still issues about which it is permissible not to have an opinion. For ...
  

• A clean mind and dirty hands

  By Al Diamon - Feb 08
  Three people walk into a bank. The first, a soccer mom in Spandex, withdraws money from the ATM in the lobby and departs for her Pilates ...
  

• Operators are standing by

  By Al Diamon - Feb 01
  Here’s the ugly truth about Republican, 2nd-District congressional candidate Jason Levesque: He earns his living making infomercials. And he ...
  

• Second choice

  By Al Diamon - Jan 25
  The word “instant” makes me suspicious. When applied to food, it’s a synonym for “mediocre flavoring with a chemical aftertaste,” as in instant ...
  

• A fool for everyone

  By Al Diamon - Jan 18
  Time to dispose of a few inconsequential gubernatorial candidates. With 25 people officially running, the field is filled with oddballs who ...
  

• Mean everything to nothing

  By Al Diamon - Jan 11
  My favorite movie advertising phrase is “based on a true story.” Translated into English, it means: “more or less, a big fat lie.” That’s not ...
  

• 21st century breakdown

  By Al Diamon - Jan 04
  The office of Maine’s secretary of state has been around since we split from Massachusetts in 1820. In the intervening years, the secretariat ...
  

• Nobody dies

  By Al Diamon - Dec 29
  Some things in life are essential – beer, the MLB Network, caller ID – and some things aren’t – tofu, Jay Leno, the Maine Department of Economic ...
  

• Gifts of the magi

  By Al Diamon - Dec 21
  "Augusta's projections of future revenue are always much too optimistic." - Republican gubernatorial candidate Bruce Poliquin, blog posting, ...
  

• Liquor madness

  By Al Diamon - Dec 14
  Raise your glasses and toast the financial genius who – without increasing taxes, cutting services or employing accounting gimmicks – solved ...
  

• Virtue and vice

  By Al Diamon - Dec 07
  The problem with being virtuous (or so I’m told) is that it has almost nothing to do with actual virtue. But let’s give the virtuous the benefit ...
  

• Idiot wind

  By Al Diamon - Dec 03
  Last spring, after the state Legislature rejected a bill that could have resulted in a wind farm being constructed on two undeveloped mountains in ...
  

• She's dead to me

  By Al Diamon - Nov 23
  Olympia Snowe is doomed. Well, maybe not entirely doomed, but kinda doomed. She might survive her 2012 campaign for re-election to a fourth ...
  

• Road to riches

  By Al Diamon - Nov 16
  The Maine Turnpike Authority wants to pay between $34 million and $56 million to build a new toll plaza in York.Don’t let that huge price tag fool ...
  

• Future wounds

  By Al Diamon - Nov 13
  Welcome to the 2009 post-election trauma center. If you’re here to donate organs, we’ve got a long waiting list for brains. We could also use ...
  

• All the right wrongs

  By Al Diamon - Nov 04
  With the end of another campaign season, it’s time to recognize those who may not have been successful in influencing voters, but were clear ...
  

• Be afraid

  By Al Diamon - Oct 27
  This Halloween, if you want to scare the crap out of your favorite political activist – liberal or conservative – skip the fright mask, fake blood ...
  

• Road hog

  By Al Diamon - Oct 19
  You probably live on a lousy road. I make that assumption not because you look like the sort of crack-in-the-asphalt lowlife that would only be ...
  

• Orthodox caveman

  By Al Diamon - Oct 12
  Wanted: a right-wing wacko to run for governor of Maine. No experience necessary, but must hate abortion, gays, immigrants, welfare recipients, ...
  

• The winner and other losers

  By Al Diamon - Oct 06
  By my count, there are approximately 14,308 people running for governor of Maine. Fortunately, you can ignore the vast majority of these ...
  

• Doom predictions

  By Al Diamon - Sep 29
  Plenty of seemingly unemployable people manage to make decent livings even though they’re consistently wrong. For example: economists (the ...
  

• Death and taxes

  By Al Diamon - Sep 22
  Here’s the simple truth about Maine’s automobile excise tax: If you don’t support the initiative on the November ballot to cut it sharply, we’re ...
  

• Song remains the same

  By Al Diamon - Sep 15
  Welcome to Maine in the year 2019.You visitors from 2009 will be amazed at the technological advances that have taken place in a mere decade.We’ve ...
  

• Sins and promises

  By Al Diamon - Sep 07
  Let’s suppose you wanted Maine’s next governor to be somebody who’d create jobs.There’s no app for that.How about a governor who’d somehow manage ...
  

• Hey, hey, we’re the Monkees

  By Al Diamon - Aug 31
  The law of averages says if you put 100 monkeys in a room with 100 computers, they’ll eventually write a workable national health-care bill. Appa...
  

• Fiction of her dreams

  By Al Diamon - Aug 28
  If you promise to read this column all the way to the end, I’ll give you $50,000. I’ll also throw in a new Porsche. And I’ll guarantee you’ll ...
  

• Down in the Flood

  By Al Diamon - Aug 14
  A few years ago, the Federal Emergency Management Agency (motto: Cornsistently Rong Abowt Everyting) informed me I was buying a house in a flood ...
  

• Escape from the chicken coop

  By Al Diamon - Aug 11
  In olden times, before unlimited numbers of free-range office-seekers were allowed to be-fowl – er, befoul – the airwaves with messages less ...
  

• Off the track

  By Al Diamon - Aug 05
  I’ve been thinking about what makes a first-rate kook. There are at least 20 announced and unannounced candidates for governor, and we certainly ...
  

• Happy together

  By Al Diamon - Jul 30
  There’s an easy way to make everyone happy. Well, not exactly happy. It’s more like an easy way to make everyone mildly unhappy. But that’s an ...
  

• Sunny side of street

  By Al Diamon - Jul 20
  It’s good to be known as an optimist. It keeps people from realizing you’re actually a boob. That’s the guiding principle behind the Consensus ...
  

• Fat city

  By Al Diamon - Jul 16
  You wouldn’t buy a suit from a tailor who wears ill-fitting clothes. You wouldn’t take suggestions for summer-reading from somebody who’s illiterat...
  
• 

  Can’t be wrong

  By Al Diamon - Jul 09
  I don’t care if my state representative is sneaking off to Argentina to romance some exotic mystery woman. Given my rep’s track record at the ...
  

• Low expectations

  By Al Diamon - Jun 28
  There are some important qualities I’d like to see in the next governor of Maine. But they’re all pretty boring. So let’s get to what I wouldn’t ...
  

• My aim is true

  By Al Diamon - Jun 22
  I believe in having clear and achievable goals. For instance, my goals for today are: 1. Avoid work. 2. Drink beer. Residing at the ...